Damn the Pro Bowl, Full Speed Ahead!
One week — one week is all we have left until Trivia XLV kicks off — and I’m here to set the record straight about a certain rumor circulating throughout the tabloids, glossies, and blogosphere: Yes, Squishy is preggers.
Oops! What I meant to say is that Too Much Trivia in the Pants is returning for a thirteenth year of wholesome, G-rated, family fun.
(And, no, Squishy isn’t really preggers — or is he…? You'll just have to tune in to find out. Filmateleven.)
No amount of conspiring between Grand Master Drew Baumgartner and National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell to distract us from trivia by moving the Pro Bowl to trivia weekend could prevent Too Much Trivia in the Pants from returning. If the Packers in the Super Bowl wasn’t enough to keep us from playing our first year, then another pointless Pro Bowl certainly won’t do the trick this year.
Many questions accompany the announcement that we are returning, such as:
Q: Will there be roistering?
Q: Will there be wassailing?
A: Quite possibly.
Q: Will there be canoodling?
A: Of course there will be canoodling! (It simply wouldn't be trivia with the canoodling.)
Q: How about a half-man, half-panda that subsists chiefly on cigarette butts and beer — will there be one of those?
A: Well, I'm not going to say there won’t be a half-man, half-panda that subsists chiefly on cigarette butts and beer. (I mean, it's happened before.)
Q: What do you think of “General” Larry Platt?
A: Hmm, well, we’re still partial to Soundmaster T, but I can assure you that we might be investing in a few belts this year.
See you all next week!